This I Believe

I wrote this for my English class, and kinda like it. So here it is. Names have been changed.

When I was a freshman in High School, everyone knew Mike Tanner was dangerous. No tyrant or assassin my history teacher had told me about could ever reach his level of dangerous. You see, there was a long standing tradition at Meridian High School called the freshman roundup. A handpicked group of large seniors (Mostly football players) would line up at one end of freshman hall, stand shoulder to shoulder and run through the hallway, obliterating any freshman in their path. Everyone knew it would happen at some point, everyone accepted it, no one got in trouble for it. But Mike Tanner, as a freshman, got caught in it and fought back. As the story goes, he uppercut all-state linebacker Derek Clifford in the jaw, flooring him. When one of the other seniors retaliated, he threw the would-be avenger into a garbage can, kicked it down the stairs and ran like the devil before they ganged up on him. Insolence like that did not go unpunished so three other seniors jumped Mike the next day, as he was walking home by the canal. Two ended up in the ditch with broken noses and the other ran away while Mike just laughed. We couldn’t verify the story independently, but Cody’s brother knew a guy that saw it go down. So it had to be true.  After that year the freshman roundup was outlawed. Mike was more feared than Hitler, John Wilkes Booth, Mike Tyson, and Bruce Lee put together.

Local legends are the ultimate tall tales, no amount of fame and notoriety can make a popular or historical figure greater than the hometown hero or villain. The people on TV and in the books are abstractions, people I accept are real, but don’t truly have any personal connection to me. I can relate to the “firsthand” accounts of my neighbors. How could Mother Teresa even compare to Mrs. Williams, who was always feeding hobos in her living room and gave out king-size candy bars on Halloween? Most in our town had seen pictures of Mother Teresa, but everyone had received a Mrs. Williams smile in person. Who’s Usain Bolt? Just because he won 3 sprinting gold medals at the Olympics doesn’t mean he was faster than Ryan, who everyone knew outran Dan Malcombe in a race, when Dan was driving his dirt bike! More boys in Meridian, Idaho had the hots for Shannon Abernathy than Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, or Angelina Jolie could ever hope for. They’re pictures might be nice, but we had seen the way Shannon moved. And of course, no American hero could hold a candle to the legendary Bob, who lost both his arms throwing back an enemy grenade in Vietnam. You can read stories about the others, but you can see Bob carrying his groceries down Linder road with the claws on his Prosthetic arms every Wednesday.

These local legends are born, word of mouth by kids in the schoolyard, in the streets, and next to the gas station drinking Coke. They’re carried on by Moms catching up at play dates, gossiping in the nail salon, and organizing community events. They’re expanded by men talking sports, cars, and work at the auto shop or before Friday night football games. They’re immortalized by old folks, sitting on their porches and eating at JB’s diner, bragging about their grandkids and complaining about everyone else’s kids. It’s these legends that make every small town in America the greatest town in the world if you ask the people who live there. And when I hear the stories, I know that they’re all true, especially when they’re made up. I might know some history, but I believe in legends.

End.